When people mature, the desire to find that special one grows stronger. To a man, he wants the woman of his dreams and to the woman, it’s all about “Mr. Right.” However, in most cases, after all has been said and done, the relationship kicks off but before the dust settles, third parties are all around the corner, waiting to stop the fight. Worst still, the Judge is going back and forth, begging the couple to take a moment and reconsider the situation. For a relationship to be happy and lasting, someone needs to make the effort and if possible, start on the right foot. A relation that started off on the wrong foot cannot end in the right direction unless someone is willing to go the extra mile. Below is an awesome guide to a happy and long lasting relationship.

Commit to God:

As people evolve and come to terms with their environment and purpose of existence, they realize that without God, all efforts are worthless. “If God doesn’t build the house, the builders build in vain”. This applies to both single and married people. Whatever that need is, commit it to God.

If you are searching for someone to spend your life with, it is wisdom to let God guide you. Share your desire of the qualities you seek in a long lasting relationship, and trust Him to bring him/her forth for you. It is true to say God knows what you want or need but He can only act on it if you call on Him. When you commit to Him, just trust him and follow His lead. Don’t ask God to make someone you are currently dating as your spouse because if that person is not the spouse he ordained for you, the relationship will never work, even if you decide to move in with him or her. The common error people make is to pray that God chooses a spouse among the people they are either dating or admiring and most times these are not our Divine design. Thus when you commit it to God, ask for a definite sign which you can understand to know when you meet that “right one”. Remember to keep an open mind on that “right one” and not try to find that sign on everyone you meet. Things of God are never conflicting. It may be someone you least expected. God is perfect in all His ways.

 Journey to self:

The journey to self is not an easy one because it could open up old wounds but with God,  it is the surest road to true happiness. This often comes when people commit to God and start understanding that things aren’t really what they seem. Whether married or single, this is an important step in life as you mature because it leads one to self discovery. It will help you know your strengths and your weaknesses and also help you see which one of them is taking the lead in your life. This will also help you adjust your demands on those around you and show you where to place your expectations.

A journey to self is a solid brick that can ensure a firm foundation for any sort of building. Don’t make the error most people make by searching for people that will make them happy, or care for them or love them. The only reason you are looking for these qualities in others is because you lack them yourself. If you love yourself, care for yourself, and are truly happy, you will be looking for someone who  has these qualities in them already. That way you are not dependent on each other for happiness. You would simply share your qualities with each other and not be a burden. This is what makes self discovery very important. When you take a journey to self, you will come to know who you are and will be able to appreciate your worth .

The major reason why most relationships fail is because of wrongly placed expectations. Your spouse is not responsible for your happiness.  That is such a huge responsibility to place on anyone’s shoulder. Thus take a moment for yourself and tap in deep. True happiness is inside of you. Let your source of strength come from within you, fueled by the beauty inside of you. Such is the only way to overcome the everyday challenges in long term relationship.

As you take the journey to self, you will come to discover a lot about you that will put you at peace with yourself. It will boost your confidence and self esteem, by bringing you to consciousness of who you are.  This is what you need to be happy with life, independent of outside influences

Without this consciousness you might find yourself ending up with the wrong people, or even finding the right people but never able to appreciate their way of loving you. Remember that you cannot give what you do not have and you are likely not to get what you do not give. Life is what it is.

Make a Move:

This is the final but challenging step to a long and happy relationship. When you have found yourself, walking with God, you will definitely get leads on what to do to bring forth what you desire. Sometimes it is to initiate the dialogue for peace. At other times it is to step up your game, or to walk out of a bad company or drop a bad habit.  It could also be to walk up to that “special person and make your intentions known. Whatever the lead is, trust it and follow it. Nothing good comes easy so be bold enough to make the move.

If it’s about your attitude, be bold to step up your game. If it’s to walk up to that special someone, let the confidence in you sweep them off their feet.

This might seem tough especially for women walking up to  man, but it is always worth the effort. For example, if you  met your “Mr. Right”, yet he can’t read between the body language, be bold to tell him how you feel about him. But you must do it right so as to maintain the stamina of things. When you make your feelings known, stop right there and let him do the chasing. Always let the man make the extra effort of winning you over because they appreciate more the things they work for. This doesn’t mean they will despise you for making the first move. Rather, they are often blown away by confident women. So don’t be afraid to tell the man how you feel but don’t be clingy about it. Don’t tell him by text message and go calling and texting multiple times to find out if he saw it. etc. A single text message with the right words; or  kiss; or a whisper; or a date is enough to make your intentions known. If he doesn’t call you, don’t worry about it.  He will come around; unless he was never meant for you.

Making the first move is always a win-win especially  if done tactfully.

SHINE magazine is taking a face lift to better serve its readers. As part of this, we have dedicated Wednesdays to love and relationships. Watch out Next Wednesday for another  episode on #Lovetinz. Share your comments with us

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