Relationships can be complicated. One minute it’s so good and you feel like you have it all under control and the next minute things get sour. Sometimes when things get bad you walk out of the relationships but at other times, you get so frustrated but because for one reason or the other you can’t walk out. Irrespective of what it is, a broken relationship is a broken relationship. However, most broken relationships can be fixed especially when both parties have a “tiny” will to accept apologies or better still, are willing to make it work. Here are some tips on how to fix a broken relationship
- Let go of the hurt and accept apologies: Letting go of the hurt is a two way traffic. It takes two to tangle and so in every problem there is a protagonist and the antagonist. In order words, there is the trouble and the cause. Thus forgiving and also asking for forgiveness is a major step to fixing the broken relationship. You can do this by talking about the hurt. Don’t avoid the topic with the person who hurt you. Sit him/her down and open the chapter. Don’t shut up even if he/she is defensive. Tell them exactly how you feel. Just vent it out but remember opening such pages can also bring in tons of unpleasant emotions. So be aware of it, and feel free to cry, shout, scream as the feeling arise. It’s a good way of easing the pain and letting go.
- Don’t accumulate anger and frustrations. When you let go,you must kick out the habit of accumulating anger. It is common human tendency especially with women to accumulate anger. For example, someone annoys you and instead of telling them how you feel, you frown at them and store it. Sometimes thinking you are making peace reign which is not true because if you decide not to talk on it then you should truly forget it. So strike the nail when it is hot and when you do, let go. Don’t talk today about what happened yesterday. So let the anger of today be confronted today and also be ready to accept apologies when they are given.
- Build some trust. When a relationship has gone sour, we turn to sleep with one eye open. However, don’t be too critical and judgmental because sometimes people are only trying to appease you. But you can’t look pass their past and so you judge their every move. It is important to give people benefit of doubt especially when rebuilding trust. It is true to say look before you leap but sometimes you’ve got to chance and enjoy the moment. Being overly critical and judgmental will only cause others to vent out on you and make matters worse.
- Challenge yourself to a hug/warm greeting/or a kiss depending on which one existed before the storm. This can reignite lost emotions and bring in some warmth the relationship needs to be good again. Hugging/kissing a loved one goes beyond the pleasure. It makes both parties feel at home and the comfort of home is the craving of every human being.In other words, just challenge yourself to doing the things you did before-the love notes, the kiss, the hugs, the walk, the date night etc
- Empower your spiritual lives: This has to do with understanding God’s purpose for your life. With an empowered spirit you will rebuild your mind in the path of positivism and also learn to be appreciative of the things you take for granted. You will be able to see your weaknesses and when this happens, u will consciously or unconsciously start making efforts to love and not only concentrate of being loved. Most times in relationships we tend to be selfish, and think of only what we go through and endure in the relationship. But in truth, if you are enduring something, the other party is equally tolerating and if you have this understanding you will try to make peace.
© 2017, Pauline Njah. All rights reserved.