Life Purpose: Your Mission is where your Misery is.

“One’s mission and life purpose is always found where the hurt is”. You will never know how to encourage and comfort a suffering person unless life has given you an experience”. It is for such reasons that a disappointment could be seen as a blessing in disguise.

When your hopes are dashed against the walls, and your breath is fading with the sun, know that all it takes to see a new day is to go to sleep. Trials are a part of human existence. They are the fire that purifies the gold in us. When things go wrong, take a moment after the hurt to find out what it has for you because nothing ever happens by chance. We are all pilgrims on a mission and every stage in life is meant to prepare us for the next. The beauty in this is the fact that every stage is better than the previous. Life is like a theater with continuous performance wherein every character has unique roles and receives different sizes of trophies after each episode.

Life has taught me so many lessons some which were bitterer than a “nivaquine” tablet; but today I am grateful for every one of those sour moments because they have shaped me into what I am today. In my opinion, trials come when it’s time to grow, or move into your next episode and size of your challenge is often less than the promotion ahead of you.  It either gives you an opportunity to discover a hidden ability, or helps you to improve upon your weaknesses.

One of my most humbling moments was a time in life when I lost everything I counted as gain and became completely dependent. I had a good job and I was doing just the things I loved-traveling, meeting people, giving talks etc. I had more than enough for me and for every other good cause. I was very independent that I couldn’t see myself asking anyone for anything. Not even my husband. I was comfortable. But then something happened and I became unemployed. I tried getting another job but every attempt was unsuccessful. The interview was either unsuccessful or I was never contacted. The once independent and successful woman with a blossoming career suddenly became unemployed and a full time house wife. I could not even afford my basic needs and had to depend solely on my husband- a thing I had always dreaded. I was unable to support my relations who had depended on me all along. I was stuck and seeing them suffer made me feel useless. The feeling of being dependent and non-supportive drained me of my self esteem and confidence and my frustrations grew worse by the day. My state of mind was negatively affected and everything flowed with it. It was one problem to the next.

In the hurt, I couldn’t think straight and gradually I watched my life waste away day after day. But one day as I sat on my bed looking through some old pictures and it brought back so many memories that caused me to cry bitterly. I was so ashamed of myself and could hardly recognize the woman in the pictures and the one holding the pictures. As I cried, I heard a voice in my heart, so strong like never before, that asked me this question- “Apart from sitting down and crying, what else are you good at?” I cried even harder at the sound of this and the question kept coming. As I pondered on this question with tears rolling down my eyes, I paused for a moment and asked myself audibly… “in all honesty, what am I good at?” “If I can’t get a job, what else can I do? For how long would I continue like this?”

As simple as it may sound, that was my wake up moment. I took a piece of paper and began writing. I wrote all the good things I once loved about myself, my dreams, and desires etc. Everything good I could think about myself, I wrote them down.

As I did that, I was amazed at the number of good things I had come up with and it made smile as more tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked at how much goodness I still had left in me and it dawn on me that it was time to look into others things. If the employers weren’t looking my way, I could as well  employ myself.  It was time for a new beginning and that was how I got into self employment.  In the days that followed, I wrote down my new goals and challenged myself to achieving one thing after the other, setting time and developing strategies on achieving them. This made me realize the potentials I had in me that no employer could ever bring out of me. I began appreciating myself and everything else around me began to change.  I saw myself healing from the frustrations of unemployment and lack as I worked on achieving my goals.  I moved from a life of complain to a life of appreciation. Each day suddenly became a blessing to me and I was marveled as I achieved my goals one after the other.

At that point, I looked back into the hurting days of lack and I found the lessons that it brought me. My comfort and independence had kept me in my confort zone for too long that I had failed to find my other abilities. That episode of my life taught me humility and appreciation. It gave me an opportunity to rediscover myself and I found tons of potentials in me which I failed to notice because I was busy chasing other things. Interestingly these are the life skills I needed to excel in the new stage of achievement. God knew I was going somewhere bigger than where I was coming from and so He let nature prepare me for it. These two qualities have guided me till date in my work and relating with others.

When I look back in the years, and take a look at the various challenges I have faced, I see a pattern which is the fact that after every trial I moved a step higher in life.

Today I have come to understand that trials are not meant to kill us, but to give us an opportunity for self-examination and self-discovery. Mankind is meant to constantly improve –by excelling and taking new responsibilities. I now know that before a man becomes king, he needs to learn the qualities of royalty and every stage of growth gives that opportunity. Sometimes it could be really tough but see your trails as learning moments. Look deep and you will find the lessons and when you find these lessons, you will uncover your purpose.

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