How to Make the First Move on a Guy Tactfully.

It’s Wednesday and time for another love episode on SHINE magazine. Last week I talked on some three key things to consider when seeking a long and lasting relationship. The focus was on people who are single and searching. Among these things, I mentioned that after seeking God and engaging in self discovery, people should make a move, especially women.  Today, in continuation, I want to talk on simple ways a woman can make a move on a man without feeling “sold out” or desperate.

Here’s what to do

  • Have a conversation with him: Sometimes all it takes is to spell it out clearly. You know those times when you have been  hanging out with a guy and he just wouldn’t read through the lines? You have spent time trying to engage in eye contact etc to the point that he blushes each time you stare at him but he would not summon the courage to ask you out? This is the time you tell him how you feel. If a guy blushes when you look at him, it is a clear sign that he is interested but just not bold enough to come forth. Tell him how you feel about him and be honest about it.  This conversation can be done via text message, phone call or over a drink. But most preferably, in person so that you can look him in the eye as you speak with him and read the hidden emotions deep in his eyes.When you tell a man how you feel, don’t expect him to give you an immediate response of acceptance. In as much as he “secretly” admires that confidence in you, he still wants to feel like a man. So give him some space then to reorganize his mind and come after you. This is not the time to start bugging him with text messages and calls every minute and asking him who he is hanging out with, or if you can see him etc. The wise thing to do at this point is stay clear off his path and let him find you. By this you appear confident and self sufficient.
  • A Kiss: This should just be a simple but good enough to pass across messages and above all should be done at the most appropriate time time. Don’t just jump on a man and kiss him, his reaction may scare the confidence out of you. You can tell if a man is interested in you from his reactions as you stare at him. You have to ensure the time is right before you do that. When you do this, leave him with the challenge of filling in the blank spaces and connecting the dots. So leave that place. For example, if you guys went out, plant such a kiss when you are about entering a cap or your house, that’s if he saw you off. Men love the challenge that tickles their minds positively and this is one of them. Let him figure out how to build a relationship with you. Don’t bother him. Don’t do things you didn’t do for him before until you are sure you are already in a relationship. For example, this is not the time to jump into bed with him. Keep your pants tight because letting them loose will just make you an alternative source of comfort and  he will keep luring you for more without any status confirmation. You don’t want to play second to no one.

Making the first move can be misinterpreted but if done tactfully, it would be a win win situation for the woman. I know most women frown at this especially those that are traditional, but there is nothing wrong with making the first move. If you read the story of Ruth in the bible, you will notice that she made the move on her second husband Boaz. A good point of focus on Ruth’s story is the manner in which she asked Boaz to marry her. When she too was done talking , she left Boaz with the choice of making it happen. Which man will reject such a confident woman? Ladies it is all about tactfulness.

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