Everyone says forgive and forget…to err is human and to forgive is divine. Blaa! Blaa! blaa! This can upset your tummy like food poison if it’s coming from an unrepentant spouse, friend, colleague or relation. They are often quick to say it as though it was an easy thing to do, even easier than their crime against you. The truth is that forgiving is not easy. Some people say it makes them weak and desperate and such persons will stop at nothing but revenge. But if you sit back and reflect on it, you would realize that forgiveness though difficult, is so liberating. It is an art worth learning. It could be so rewarding, even more rewarding to the forgiver than it is to the forgiven.
Look at it this way. Lets say your boyfriend cheats on you, and you feel so hurts and betrayed. You want to punish him for it but above all you want out of the relationship. He comes down begging for mercy and you wouldn’t forgive. He tries to win you back with gifts as most men would do. But all his efforts go in vain and so they stop trying, make peace with it and move on with their lives. At this point you become a Part of their past. On your own side, you hate the very thought of him. You sabotage him and if there was a child involved, you paint him black like a monster before the child and banish him from visiting. You think you are paying him back in his own coins but the truth is you are hurting yourself even further. While you become a part of his past he wished he had done right; you make him part and parcel of your life, carrying him in your heart way into your future. You become so hateful and vengeful. You deny yourself the opportunity to love or to be loved again judging all men with the same colours. Feeling sorry for yourself and looking for sympathy and blaming your misfortunes on that person and the past is synonymous to being in bondage. Now ask yourself this, who is more miserable? Truth is you are! Your denial to forgive is making you sad and scornful, and as the days go by, you become your own enemy. At this point, you are putting yourself in harms way. Forgiveness sets the heart free both for the forgiver and the forgiven. When you deprive another of this freedom, pain and misery is what you invite on to yourself. The million dollar question is…is it worth it?
It’s that time of the year when families and friends come together for the sake of love and friendship. Don’t deny yourself such bonding that breathes nothing but peace and love. You can start with a smile but if you are bold enough, go for a hug. Let go of the hurt!
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