The ability to love others and also be loved makes life very meaningful but sometimes we mess things up. Love is a powerful force, stronger than the tides of the sea and so beautiful it cant be explained. But the opposite of it can hurt more than a sword. In the case where love hurts, we often don’t see our own side of the problems. Below are common errors we make in relationships that could cause us to loose something that has value to us.
- Don’t take people for granted: we are often quick to say we never know the worth of what we have until we loose it. But the truth of the matter is that we always know the worth of what we have. We just never think that we can loose it and so we just treat it as we please. It is annoying to continuously exploit people’s leniency. That your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse doesn’t complaint doesn’t mean that they are okay with the things you do. If they forgave you the first second and third time, it doesn’t mean they will forgive you the fourth or fifth time.
- Don’t try to change others: Sometimes we paint a picture of holier than thou unconsciously in our relationships. That you are smarter doesn’t mean the other person is foolish. Trying to change them to think like you rather makes you the foolish one. Most frustrations in a relationship comes when we are trying to change people to be like us or act the way we think is right. If their attitude annoys you that much that you want them to change, what was your attraction to them in the first place? The only way to change people is by learning to love them in their weaknesses. It is not an easy thing to do but that is what true love is all about. Love them in their weaknesses because that is the only way to change a hardened heart or transform a weakness to a strength. It may take some time, but it will definitely happen.
- Don’t do things to please others: This is very common with women. Very often we tend to cater for our men, and forget that we have to do same for ourselves. You can not truly get the best if you are not giving your self the best. Don’t neglect yourself because your man doesn’t notice you. If he is too busy for you, don’t chase him, rather get too busy with yourself and he will join your moving train. Don’t dress nice to seek attention because you will be disappointed. Rather, dress well because you want to look your best and he will ask you where you are going. Always know that the spark is in you and the chemistry begins with you as well. Remember when you two first met, the chemistry etc? You were full of confidence and that was his turn on. Now you make your life revolve around him and it feels like he is living with his mom. Take some you moments and cater for yourself, and make sure you do it for you.
- Don’t use sex to solve problems: Sex never solves any problem. It just sweeps it under the carpet and it will resurface after all the steam with even more intensity and you will hate yourself for it. This is because problems reside in the heart and sex comes from the mind. Remember that when the heart is troubled you do not make love, you have sex and there is a huge difference in both. Sex begins in the mind and as such when the mind is satisfied, the heart still remains hurt and desperate. But love making begins in the heart and so when it is done, the heart glows and the relationship grows stronger.
Life is what we make of it. There is a popular African saying …”a patient dog eats the biggest bone”. Be the “patient dog” in your relationships and you will experience the power of love.
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